Dog day

Case,

We've already talked about the importance of keeping gas in your car, lest you run out and look foolish. But I recently learned the hard way that there are other hazards related to ensuring your tank does not run dry.

On Friday, I managed to get locked out of my car while at the gas station. How did I accomplish this? Well, I didn't. Your big brother Edgar was responsible. That's right, your dad got locked out of his car by a pug.

I thought it was hilarious while gassing up that E went nuts trying to bust through the driver's side window to get to the electrician working in the Exxon parking lot. A minute later, when I found the door would not open upon pulling the handle back, well, that was less funny.

I'll spare you the details of my 90 minutes waiting for a locksmith (15-minute response guaranteed, my ass!) in 30-degree weather, except to express the sad irony that I spent a good half-hour trying to get the door open with a slim jim. No, not the tool that police officers and firemen use to open locked vehicle doors, an actual Slim Jim.

I did not attempt to use the processed meat stick to unlock the door. Instead, I tried in vain to use it as a means of getting E excited enough that he would again inadvertently step on the door-lock button and I could get back into the car and regain feeling in my fingers. Unfortunately, pugs and their noses are ill-equipped to track the scent of food through a pane of sealed glass. He just sat there, staring at me, his eyes saying, "Hey, I'm just a dog, what do you want from me?"

So, in closing, I guess what I'm saying is that if you ever decide to take a dog for a ride to the gas station, make sure it's wearing its seat belt.

Love,
Dad